The title of this entry was taken from the talk given by Kimmel, and it what I was thinking when I saw the video still of a man standing at the podium. What I got however was a little different then expected. I have to say that I think I was able to relate to this video more then the other two previous ones. I don’t know if it was because a man gave the talk or because he brought up some very good points.
Over the years I have struggled to solidify my beliefs on the whole “who should work and who should stay home”. Part of my confusions stem from issues I saw between my own two parents (a lot of factors are at play their, to many to state now). So for now I do not wish to state my opinion on this.
In terms of divisions of housework between fathers, mothers and older children I will say that men should be more willing to help their wives accomplish chores, but I would like to point out something that I think Kimmel missed. In most households men do housework, albeit of a different kind.
Although it might sound a little sexist I always thought that their was “guy” housework and “girl” housework Growing up I don’t think I ever remember sitting around with my dad in the living room, while my mom was in the kitchen (I always felt awkward when I went to other people houses were this happened).
As a kid I remember mowing the lawn, painting the house, refinishing the basement, and helping my dad fix various things around the house. These things are all housework and are just as essential as cooking and cleaning. I would be more then willing to cook, clean, do the laundry and dishes if my wife wanted to mow the law, paint the house, and drywall the basement.
I do think Kimmel brought up a good point related to father-son relationships. He said that being a good father is more then having “quality time” with your kids on Fridays after work. I do think men need to take a very active role in their children’s development, as it is important for kids to have both mother figures and father figures in their lives. I also agreed with his closing remark about how “"Feminism will make it possible, for the first time, for Men to be free"
I think his lecture would have benefited from discussing how household chores get divided within gay and lesbian couple households, as well as single parent households. The heterosexual nuclear family continues to retain dominance in terms of the discourse and this is problematic given how many different types of diverse families there actually are. People will always have preferences for what tasks they want to do in the household, but I think part of the problem is that certain tasks get labeled "masculine" or "feminine" and thus people partially derive their sense of gender from engaging in these activities. The genderization of toys is also to blame in that it helps to indoctrinate children into compliance with patriarchal, gender-typed behaviors. All kids should receive more training in school in cooking, household cleaning, lawn maintenance, construction etc. so that we ALL learn the basics of how to do all these things and break the gendered divisions of these chores.
ReplyDeleteI don't think school is the right place to teach people how to do some of these things. I think it should be the children parents.
ReplyDeleteWhat is ironic to me about the work of Michael Kimmel is that as you pointed out, he is such an "objective thinker," while remaining at the top of the social chain, which he acknowledges in his other work ( white, straight male) to give us a view that when men talk about feminism, we hold privilege as academic authorities and the "rationalists."
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